One day I’ll sleep.
One day I’ll wake up feeling rested.
One day I won’t need the nectar of life (aka coffee) to be functional.
One day I will be able to go to sleep at night and wake up only when it is morning.
One day I will be able to go to sleep without the ever present fear of being woken up as soon as I’m almost in deep sleep.
One day I won’t get to see that peaceful sleepy face in the quiet of the night.
One day I won’t hear those delicate sighs or feel those tiny fingers searching for me.
One day I won’t be needed close by to feel safe and secure at night.
One day I won’t be woken up with a kiss like sleeping beauty and children jumping on my bed singing jingle bells.
One day will be here before I know it.
Seriously! I realize that some days are really challenging in the parenting arena, but I want them to last a lot longer. I want to be able to soak in every sincere, “I love you,” every bear hug, every sweet smile. I want it all to linger. I want to remember in 20 years just what those tiny hands and wet kisses feel like. I don’t ever want to forget how Abram says “momboid” when he means “mermaid” or how “yeah” and “yep” have somehow changed into “wah” and “wep.” I want to always be able to recall how Hannah says “cabinet” for “cabin” and “helpidoctor” for “helicopter.” Oh, and the moments! May I always remember how Abram adopted Pax to be his dog, how Hannah “reads” to Abram from the photo album of her birth, and how Pax gives me the biggest and sweetest smile every single time I look at him.
These days are fleeting. I know it down to my core. They are growing up in a flash. I am living my childhood dreams being their mother, and I am trying each and every day to remember all of this. My house may not be the cleanest, but I have bigger and better things to attend to right now.
And please please please someone remind me of all of this on those days when I just don’t think I can do it. This season is far to precious to have a difficult day because I am grumpy!